Midnight Brown – 28 Hours a Day Pick up dry cleaning Wax the cat traps Conduct blind taste test between butter and margarine Sabotage police speed trap near the high school Watch slow-motion tapes of the Cobra Clutch Stare at a telephone pole and hope it catches on fire Write “shuttlecock” backwards on forehead Buy apple soda at the dollar store Twenty eight hours a day Suicide, the power of today Twenty eight hours a day Take my life away Steal mail from back of mail truck Call Smokey the Bear a liar Start garbage fire Develop cure for the measles Cross-check obituaries with junior high yearbooks Invent a new number that goes between two and three Pay the light bill Finish proton accelerator Twenty eight hours a day This is the only way Twenty eight hours a day Spend it all in the shade Try to invent speed boat that will work on land Start donnybrook in front of coffee store Make bonsai tree out of poker chips Electrify mailbox for a rude surprise Re-paint the bathroom Grow rap video hair Write nasty letter to Prince Charles Sharpen spoon on floor of garage Twenty eight hours a day The kids all think I’m crazy Twenty eight hours a day Look at pictures of Tina Fey Field strip clock radio Guess Kenny Rogers’ phone number Punch out neighbours’ windows Buy more Snake from Jerry
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